


At Least I've Got You In My Head

by seasonalreign



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, M/M/M, Multi, Polyamorous relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 01:36:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10205930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasonalreign/pseuds/seasonalreign
Summary: Lance runs backwards, "C'mon Pidge! This isn't over!" He calls, laughing.Suddenly he crashes into something. He frowns, turning around. Lance couldn't remember a tree being there, and he definitely didn't remember trees having strong arms that could wrap around a person's waist.And they're there.Shiro and Keith.They're there, staring at him like this is a dream, like they can't believe they're looking at Lance. And suddenly all of Lance's buried feelings, all his forgotten memories are rushing back with the intensity equal to that of the rapids in a wide river._______Inspired by 'Sleepover' by Hayley Kiyoko





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taetaestea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taetaestea/gifts).



Lance is Keith and Shiro’s best friend. He knows they're dating and he's fine with that, but watching them together hurts. He doesn't mind when they cuddle in front of him. He doesn't mind when they kiss on New Year's Eve at 12AM. He doesn't mind when they shower each other in gifts and inside jokes in Valentine's Day. He doesn't mind skipping out on their daily hangout when it's their anniversary.

Except he does mind.

He knew they'd rather be alone together, but it hurt . He sleeps at Keith's house on the floor in a sleeping bag while him and Shiro share the bed. The bed could easily fit all three of them, but Lance knows he likes Keith, knows that he likes Shiro too, and he doesn't trust himself. Especially when he's sleeping.

So he sleeps on the floor. He dreams of them, together. Instead of being an outsider, Lance is kissed by Shiro and then by Keith. Lance is held by them, treasured by them. 

Until he wakes up. It's 3AM and it was just a dream and suddenly Lance can't breathe. He can't do this whole "my best friends are dating and I'm fine with that" thing anymore. He just can't. He's tired of his chest hurting every day. He's tired of faking a smile when Shiro and Keith forget about boundaries in front of him. He's tired of feeling his heart break for two people with no room for him.

He gets up. He rolls up the sleeping bag, puts it back into Keith's closet and takes out a paper from his notebook. _"I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore, guys. I want you to be happy together but I can't be here to see that. Not when it hurts this much,"_ he writes. He lays the paper on the bedside table, grabs his bag and leaves out the window.

He transfers schools on Tuesday. Monday is the last day and he spends it avoiding Shiro and Keith. He pretends he can't hear them calling out to him when he walks down the hallway. He ducks into an empty classroom until they leave. He transfers to a new district and forgets them. Here, he has Hunk and he has Pidge. Sure, they're not Shiro and they're not Keith, but hanging out with Pidge and Hunk, Lance’s heart starts to heal. The cracks that formed from watching Keith and Shiro's relationship grow from the outside but wanting to be right there with them start to disappear. There was no room for him there, and Lance thinks he should have done this earlier. He should have left earlier. Forgotten them before it got to this point.

He laughs with Pidge and Hunk. Enjoys the new inside jokes. Explores new hangout areas with them. There’s room for him here, with them. He’s comfortable here. But it's not enough. You can't avoid people, not forever. Especially if you live in the same town. 

Lance, Pidge and Hunk are messing around at the park a mile from their school when he sees them again. It's been two and a half years since Lance transferred without a word. He's gotten sloppy. Running around with Pidge chasing him, he trips over a raised root and tumbles to the ground. Hunk rushes over and helps him up, brushing him off before Lance jumps out of his reach and starts running again. Lance runs backwards, "C'mon Pidge! This isn't over!" He calls, laughing.

Suddenly he crashes into something. He frowns, turning around. Lance couldn't remember a tree being there, and he definitely didn't remember trees having strong arms that could wrap around a person's waist. 

And they're there. 

Shiro and Keith. 

They're there, staring at him like this is a dream. Like they can't believe they're looking at Lance. And suddenly all of Lance's buried feelings, all his forgotten memories are rushing back with the intensity equal to that of the rapids in a wide river.

_They're here. They're here, they're here,_ they're here.

It's a mantra in his mind and Lance can't breathe. Can't feel his legs that have turned to jello, can't feel his hands that have started sweating. He's shaking, breathing in gasps that just don't bring enough oxygen for his lungs. He panics and runs, runs back to Hunk, back to Pidge, back to where he was normal, where he was safe. Where he wasn't tormented by the images in his head. And he begs them, "We need to go. Now, please. Please guys."

Pidge and Hunk don't understand, but Shiro and Keith had run after Lance and they’re getting closer. Lance flings himself behind Hunk, watching them. He can't do this. "Please" he wheezes. 

It's too late. 

"Lance?" Shiro asks. He’s hesitant. His voice has gotten deeper, his body more muscular and Lance looks away, not answering. He's shaking so badly Hunk can feel it through his back. He frowns, stepping forward. "Who are you?" He glares.

Keith darts forward, getting into Hunks face. "What's it to you? Unless your name is, Lance this doesn't concern you. At all." His voice is fire, angry and irrational. Keith's eyes dance with two years and half years of built up anger, stemmed from confusion.

"Back off man. Lance is my best friend. What do you want with him?" Hunk frowns.

Lance tugs him back, "Let's just go. It's fine." He's slowly walking back, slipping away from the scene. Disappearing, like he's so good at doing. But Shiro isn't by Keith anymore.

"You can't just run away again. Not this time." It's whispered into Lance’s ear, soft and quiet. He jerks forward, but not fast enough, Shiro's arms wrap around his waist and lift him up. He's tossed over Shiro's shoulder. "We'll be borrowing him for a while.” And then they're gone.

\---

Shiro and Keith pace angrily in front of Lance ten minutes later. They're sitting in a small local restaurant. "Why did you leave? How could you just- leave us like that?" Keith spits. His knuckles are white.

"I thought we were _friends_ , Lance." It's Shiro. He sounds so hurt, so sad and Lance closes his eyes. Chokes on his tongue. He can't do this and he's shaking again.

"You don't understand, you shouldn't have to understand. I had to leave." The words are dragged out of Lance. He doesn't want to talk, doesn't want to tell them why. "Do you have any idea what it was like to watch you two every day? See you kiss and hug and hold hands and look so damn happy?" Lance doesn't want to talk. He wants to be anywhere but there, but he can't find a way out. Shiro is standing in the aisle, Keith is sitting across from him and he's locked in. He can't escape.

"Is that what it was about?" Keith shouts. "If you were so uncomfortable with Shiro and I dating, you should have just said something!"

And Lance breaks. He clenches his teeth. _"That’s not it!"_ He shouts back, glaring. "You think I could really be upset that my best friends were happy? Of course I was glad you guys had each other!" He breathes in, "I was on the outside the entire time! Do you know what that's like? Being an outside when you only want to be on the inside? Do you know how hard it was to leave you two? I love you guys! Both of you! Do you know the strain that put on me?" He's screaming now, but he doesn't realize. He can't see through the tears that blur his vision, and his hands are starting to cramp.

"Don't you dare accuse me of leaving because of your happiness when you have no idea what I went through." It's all out in the open now. They know, and Lance is exhausted. His shoulders droop and he stands up. He goes to shove past Shiro, but Shiro's hand grasps his wrist and suddenly they're sprinting out of the restaurant and running down the road to Shiro's house. Keith sprints behind them.

The door slams shut behind Keith and Lance is pressed against the door, Shiro and Keith in his face, scowling.Suddenly there are hands all over his body, lips all over his face, his neck. And Lance can't breathe again. 'Not this dream’ he begs. It felt so real. Running into them at the park, talking in the diner. Running with them through town. It all felt so real. 

Their hands are hot, grabbing at his shoulders, his necks, tugging on his clothes and his hands. Lance can't fight back, he has never been able to. He collapses against the door, eyes falling shut. He let them do what they want to him. After all, it was just a dream, right?

\---

When Lance opens his eyes, he's crying. They're in Shiro's room. The drapes are closed, the lights are off and only a lamp provides any light. His head is resting on Shiro's chest, and he can feel Keith wrapped around his back. The room is quiet. Shiro's hand runs slowly through Lance’s short hair, and Keith's hands wander lazily across his chest. He sobs, breaking the delicate silence. Suddenly he can't stop and tears fall down his cheeks like rivers. No matter how many times he wipes them away, they won’t stop. He curls tighter in on himself, hiding his face from them. This was never a part of the dream. Nothing made sense. The sensitive spots on his neck feel more real than any dream he's ever had before. The bite marks on his chest and neck sting more sharply than anything his mind could make when he was asleep. He doesn’t understand.

"What is this?" It's a broken plea and it falls from Lance’s lips like a shout for help. He's so confused. His head is clouded and his breathing isn't quite regular. "Is this real or another dream?" He's lost any pride he had. He wants straight answers, he doesn't want any kind of riddle or signal. He wants words and he wants concrete answers explained so clearly a five year old could understand it.

"This is us," Shiro whispers. He tugs on Lances hair until his head is resting on his chest again. "complete."

Keith kisses the back of Lance's neck, presses his mouth to a bite mark. "You were always our missing piece, Lance. How could you not know?"

Lance shut his eyes tightly, "How could I have known anything? You looked so happy together..." His throat closes, and he cleares it roughly. "How could I have expected a place here when I couldn't see anything missing?” Lance buries his face in Shiro's chest. 

Keith leans over and presses a kiss to Lance's cheek, breathing "We're complete now. Please, stay."

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually just something I sent a friend in DMs. I never intended to publish this, but they told me I should. I apologize for the way it's written. I don't normally write like this. I'm sorry for any and all errors.
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!


End file.
